Untitled
by A.Terra
Summary: READ AN Chandler is hiding several things from his friends... things that can be deadly if not addressedfound out soon.
1. Prologue

A/N: Just a teaser for a fic I've been thinking of writing for awhile now. It does and will contain bulimia, self-mutilation (cutting mostly), child- abuse, rape, etc. In other words a bunch of nasty stuff. I warned you, this won't be pretty n fluffy.  
  
As for the pairing (if any) it probably won't be C/M, or even any R/R (eww). I like the idea of C/R or C/P so it may have one or a C/R/P. I like C/M but not in fic's for some reason. Strange I know. ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine.  
  
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Untitled  
  
[teaser]  
  
A pair of dull, blue eyes stared sorrowfully at the reflection laid out right before them. They traced, tracked, and generally glared at his image even as a slender finger glided over the smooth surface and followed his visions mapping with shaky movements.  
  
What picture stood before him was the complete opposite of what his mind was screaming at him. Even if deep, down in his heart he knew it was wrong Chandler Bing could not bring himself to expel his long-time thinking and hurt that had been drilled into him from such a young age.  
  
Instead of slightly long, light brown flowing hair that seemed to caress his forehead and cover his eyes with each swipe of a light breeze or shake of his head; he saw dirty, greasy, locks that seemed to cling to his face with vice. Eyes so blue that an ocean or sky would be jealous to behold were dimmed by his own thoughts that they were lifeless keepers of his withering soul. Lips so full and red circling an oh-so kiss-able mouth, a nose, cheeks, and chin all seemingly chiseled to perfection were regrettably denied their proper due.  
  
'. fat . ugly . stupid . weak .' Chandler whimpered piteously as the vicious cycle of self-hate and blame ran rampart once again in his troubled and tortured mind.  
  
Tears came unhindered for what seemed like the millionth time and he could only watch with blurring eyes, as his dreaded reflection finally seemed to dissolve right before him. A sick smile suddenly appeared upon his overly red lips and he harshly dropped to the tile floor and crawled to his porcelain escape.  
  
Resting heavily on his knees and giving a heavy sigh Chandler licked suddenly dry lips before smiling faintly at his wavering image in the toilet's water. Drawing his left hand up slowly while unconsciously curling his thumb around his pinky and ring finger he opened his mouth wide and clawed his two open fingers deep into the back of his throat.  
  
Gagging came first as the fingers effectively and efficiently did there work. Stomach muscles cramped and churned as what little was in the man began an upward escape burning his throat and mouth with its disgusting taste and contents along the way. Swiftly moving his fingers after another rough jab, Chandler finally vomited giddily into the porcelain toilette.  
  
He continued the act several more times before rubbing his very empty, trim tummy appreciatively to soothe his twisting insides.  
  
Another disturbing grin appeared upon his handsome features as if his recent act of self-abuse freed him in some way. Gathering some spittle in his mouth he spit easily a few times to rid himself of the vile taste.  
  
"Chandler hun are you all right in there." A softly lilted voice drifted through the bathrooms' door closely followed by a delicate knock.  
  
Eyes widened abruptly and glanced nervously at the rooms' entrance. Quickly pulling off some toilet paper and scrubbing at his mouth with rough swipes of sweaty palms and fingers, he shakily dropped the used tissue and flushed away his current vile deed.  
  
"Yeah Rach, I'll ." Chandler coughed a tad, while desperately trying to keep his voice smooth and chipper. "I'll be out in a minute." He swallowed heavily nearly gagging once again as the bitter juices of his stomachs bile lingered in his sore mouth and throat.  
  
"If you're sure." Rachel trailed off biting her bottom lip in worrisome manner.  
  
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Please review: Good or Bad 


	2. Chapter 1

A/N: I can't believe it's been almost three years since I've updated this story, so sorry everyone. I do appreciate all the reviews left behind in my absence. Really makes my day. Anyway, here is another short chapter, it's kind of confusing but important. As for the season this is in I would guess about 2-3. I only have Seasons 1-4 on DVD and Season 3 is my favorite so…

A/N2: I don't have a beta-reader so all mistakes are mine and mine alone. If you find one that offends you so much, tell me and I'll change it

Pairings: C/P, C/R, or C/P/R…Haven't decided yet.

Warnings: Bulimia, Self-Mutilation, Abuse (Child/Sexual/Psychological), & other nastiness.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, although if Matthew Perry wants be mine willingly I wouldn't object.

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**Untitled  
**_Chapter - 1_

Long, slender fingers gracefully danced across finely tuned strings as a sweetly lilted voice accompanied the play of music in a surprisingly beautiful harmony.

To say that the customers of Central Perk, four in particular, were dumbstruck at the sight would be an understatement.

Phoebe Buffay had never looked or sounded so wonderfully.

The music and song were so emotionally sung that it brought tears to many eyes. It was as if she was pouring out her heart and soul with each strum of her fingers or pitch of her voice. It was beautiful but sad.

Head cocked to one side with deep, knowing blue eyes tightly clenched shut, long blonde tresses falling over her right shoulder and lightly tickling her thigh with each breath, guitar firmly yet gently placed against her, but stunningly of all was the gleam from the window and sun sparkling off her in a halo of brilliance that made the surreal picture even more dramatic.

Like an angel from heaven, she was practically glowing.

Unaware of the moved listeners around her; Phoebe Buffay was in a world of her own. A place where she was one with herself; in perfect synchronization. A serene world of her own making that showed all truths that she tried so desperately to hide from herself and others.

And what she found made her want to weep in despair.

The music became even darker, and sorrowful as the knowledge of what the nagging feeling of dread that had been bothering her for some time finally came to light.

'Oh god…' The masseuse cried internally, knowing the truth for what it was. 'Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!'

Gently slapping her palm against the strings of her guitar, Phoebe blinked open dazed; tear rimmed blue orbs and smiled sadly at her stunned friends. Her gaze traveled up and down her friends lingering a here and there before they strayed to the pretty brunette maneuvering her way to the bathroom door.

The coffee shop was eerily silent for a few moments before mass applause, and whistles drowned out the shaky knock and quiet conversation.

She didn't need to know what was being said, she could easily guess. But when terrified blue eyes gazed helplessly back into her own distraught one's, palm gently resting on the doors frame, she knew.

She wasn't the only one who finally saw it.

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TBC… 


End file.
